The Experimental Log of the Crazy Lich

Even before sunrise, the great great great granddaughter of a certain someone (?) kicked a certain someone out of bed.

“Is this a rebellion? What are you doing when the sky has yet to light up?”

Due to several reasons yesterday, I wasn’t able to sleep last night. Just when I was about to drift off, I was awakened abruptly, so in this instant, I’m extremely angry.

“This is the sacred artifact that you gave me? Look at it yourself!”

Sacred artifact? It may sound like a high-end top quality good, but it is just a unique object infused with God powers. For example, a cup filled with God blood, a wooden spear that pierced through a certain God’s heart and a shroud a certain God used before. A sacred artifact of a certain true God is often an object that the true God has used before he Ascended. If a worshipper were to come into contact with it, they would be able to deepen their contact with the true God and increase the God Powers swiftly. They are the treasures of every Church.

Naturally, I have a large amount of these sacred artifacts for the God of Law. After being appraised by the System, a large portion of those that can be used were left at Liu Huang Mountain City for the worshippers to use. I also kept a few pieces with me and now that Reyne has changed her job into a Justice Knight, I casually passed one over to her. To think that she would be complaining over it early in the morning.

“Isn’t this good? It’s a sacred pillow with a pikachu picture on it, isn’t it cute. Ah, you don’t know the famous lightning mouse? Let me tell you, it is a cartoon picture that I designed. Look, its cheeks are red and its entire body is yellow, don’t you think that it’s cute…”

“Who cares about your lightning mouse! Saliva, it’s the saliva! The back of your sacred artifact is full of your saliva. Halfway through my sleep, I accidentally got some on my face. Disgusting!”

【Wumianzhe’s Pillow: Sacred Artifact. Due to Wumianzhe’s usage of this object over a long period of time, this pillow is already infused with his aura. By coming into contact with it during sleep, connection with the true God Wumianzhe can be deepened, increasing the rate of increase of Power of Law.】

Receiving the pillow, I flipped it over and there is really saliva on the back. After hesitating on a moment, I flipped it back and went back to sleep without a care in the world.

“Hmph, I’ll use it since you don’t want it. I haven’t been sleeping well since I left this pillow.”

Yes, the reason why I have been insomniac isn’t because of a certain someone staying up for the night assault that has yet to come, but because of him losing the pillow that he’s used to.

“Oi, wake up! It’s time for morning training as well. What other sacred artifacts do you have?”

“Do you really take the sacred artifacts of a true God to be like cabbage that you can just pluck on the street? However, I do have a few of them here. You definitely would reject the sacred red scarf, do you want the sacred toothbrush?”

“No!”

“What about sacred cloth? Oi oi, don’t get happy too early. I knew that you would misunderstand. It isn’t those western armor types but a nickname for the sacred bathrobe. Furthermore, it is a pink-colored one.”

TL: Saint Seiya

“Big Brother Roland, no matter what, you are a legendary hero. I grew up listening to your heroic deeds. So, can you be more reliable? Does it make sense for a female like me to be walking around wearing a male bathrobe?”

“Fine, I still have another sacred artifact here. It is definitely the top one in maintaining your connection with Wumianzhe. Furthermore, you won’t find it excessive wearing it and it isn’t striking as well. It’s definitely easy and good to use.”

“If it’s that good, why didn’t you take it out earlier? Where is it?”

“Take it yourself.”

Thus, I flipped open my blanket and continued snoring in my sleep.

“Where is it? Big Brother Roland, can you tell me?” Lowering her tone when she has a favor to ask while acting haughty normally, it’s quite easy to grasp the temper of this princess. However, she obviously lacks education.

“Isn’t this it? Sacred underwear, take it yourself. You can wear it inside. It is neither excessive nor striking. Furthermore, you get physical contact with Wumianzhe, so I can guarantee that your connection would be intimate.”

“You old sex fiend! Sexually harassing me again, eat my Sin-Splitting Strike!”

Alright, having just changed jobs a day prior, her Sin-Splitting Strike still wasn’t up to standard and only had the spirit to it. Thus, after taking care of her in an instant, I dragged her down for morning training. A new day starts with a certain unrespectable old man educating her little granddaughter.

“To launch a sneak attack on this old man! 20,000 swings today, no dinner if you don’t finish it. Practise seriously!”

“What are you old man-ing for? You want to play seniority? Big Sister Kelly has told me that you aren’t as old as me yet. I only call you Big Brother Roland in view of your little reputation in the past. Otherwise, hehe, little Roland, do you want a lollipop?”

This delinquent young lady apparently lacks education.

“You really need a beating! Now, practise your swings. If you can’t finish 30,000 by today, you will be punished with no dinner or night snack tonight. Just watch and see if your Big Sister Kelly will plead on your behalf!”

“Don’t, Big Sister Kelly may seem gentle but in reality, when it involves classes, she turns into a ghastly old granny, extremely aggressive and scary.”

“Ghastly old granny is at your back…”

“Do you think you can fool me with such a simple trick? If that fierce bitch were here, I would have long heard her footstep. Recently, she’s been getting a little overweight… Who is pulling on my ears!”

TL: Bitch seems a bit over the top, is there any word that is milder but still an insult?

“Cough, it seems that I’m a ghastly old granny and a fierce bitch. To think I would worry you over my health problems. Looks like Princess, you need some remedial lessons on social etiquette and hygiene. Please head to the second floor for lessons after you end your swordsmanship training.

“Bastard Roland, you tricked me.”

“Now you’re blaming me?” I raised my head innocently in the end, but I was smiling gleefully.

————

“I want a good sword. I’m serious.”

Although I want to look for a good weapon, I ended up arguing with my cat.

The solo assault on the thief band a few days ago was unplanned but within my expectations. I still require an opponent to test my skills at this point. After trying out the new battle style and discovering its strengths, I also discovered its weakness. Being forced to use my immature skills on the sparring field the other day, I was forced to face this flaw.

【Demon Sword: The Scarlet Conqueror】

【Attack Power：30-50+9】（+9 additional damage due to it being a +9 Legend Equipment. Even if the Sword deals damage of the lower limit, it will deal additional 9 unavoidable Bloodthirst damage)

【Blood Conquer: This Demon Sword has 5 forms. Depending on the amount of people who have fallen under the user’s hands, a number of forms would be usable. For every new form unlocked, an additional special skill would be added. The highest and lowest damage would be increased by 10 points. Currently, it is at tier 3.】

【The Rage of the Bloodthirster: After activating this skill, the blood of all lifeform will be absorbed to deal a large amount of damage while recovering the stamina of the user.】

【The Poison Fangs of the Coldblooded: Those who are struck by the weapon will be afflicted by a bleeding status that cannot be stopped. The damage dealt by the bleeding status can be stacked infinitely.】

【The Curse of the Filthy Blooded: Using the blade as the core, create an impure field. Everyone on the field will suffer the pain of their blood boiling.】

【There is a string of tiny blood-red words on the hilt of the sword: This Demon Sword craves for fresh blood and slaughter at all moments, regardless whether the fresh blood is from your enemy or it originates from you.】

When Darsos handed me this demon sword, I was really hesitating over the success rate of managing to escape with this treasure, especially with the enticement of the demon sword.

“My temporary master, the amount of fresh blood and souls you harvested with your hands is at least a hundred times greater than the fool (Darsos) here. Of my 10 recent owners, only the great you are able to use my final form. That would be a hundred times stronger than my current form. However, as a price, you need to offer me the fresh blood of 10,000 people within a year.”

A large portion of demon swords are the creation of Devils and Demons. Those who wield demon swords normally need to pay a heavy price and few of them end well. Equal exchange has always been the common rule in the world. After paying a heavy price, the strength that one earns would be fearsome as well. The tier-3 form of The Scarlet Conqueror is already comparable to the SemiGod Roland Sacred Sword. If it was evolved to its final form, it is unimaginable how strong it would be. Probably, a God Equipment would also only be that strong.

However, if a tier-5 demon sword requires the fresh blood tribute of 10,000 people, then at tier-3, it should be around 100. Furthermore, if the user is unable to pay the price, he would have to use his own fresh blood to pay the price. 100 people in a year, 1 in 3 days, Darsos is probably busy with his blood ritual.

Back then, I rejected it. If it were to really be converted to its final form, then it would be difficult to explain how I managed to meet the prerequisites required for the transformation, not to mention the heavy price I would have to pay later on. However, as a swordsman, given the overwhelming power and special abilities of the demon sword, how could I not be moved.

“I am really lacking good weapons. As a master in swordsmanship, to think that I would be stuck with 2 poor quality iron dual-handed swords. It is really hard to stand such a reality.”

After using both the demon sword and sacred sword, now that I see that Reyne being able to barely wield the Roland Sacred Sword, which is getting stronger and stronger, while I am still stuck with 2 iron swords which don’t even amount to 10 gold coins together, I feel a strong sense of depression.

“Meow, if you want a sword, you should look for a blacksmith. Why are you asking meow meow me?”

It’s hard to look the Queen of Banshees straight in the eye when she is getting worse and worse with her acting cute and playing the fool. At this instant, she is licking her paws.

“Stop feigning ignorance, you know why I’m looking for you. We’re both old foxes, so there’s no need to play the type of games youngsters play. Tell me, are there any godly weapons nearby?”

“Meow, none at all. Though, I have 2 sharp fish bone blades that I left behind from yesterday. If you want them, I can pass then to you.”

Heh, I knew it would end up like this. Thus, I made some preparations in advance.

“Alright, it can’t be helped then.”

“Meow, this isn’t like you, for you to give up.”

“Un, I can’t possibly make one appear out of nowhere. Since I don’t have any, I will make one myself.”

Harloys is a little bit surprised. She knows that the person in front of her is a prodigy in Undead Creation but she never heard that he was able to do smithing.

“Meow, you can even make weapons? Wait, Roland Mist, my good disciple, what do you intend to do!”

Soon after, she understood. Like a demon, Roland wore a white robe, mask and glasses. His eyes were filled with passionate sparks and in the test tubes and bottles in his hands, numerous bizarre fluids were flowing.

“You should have heard of the legends. The gold-element Slime can turn into an iron bat or some kind of weapon. Even more so, a gold-element Slime King is able to turn into a legendary godly weapon. Since you are already a Slime, changing a bit of your element and adding a bit of functions should mean nothing, right?”

“Right your head! Don’t pour those things into my body, not even the tweezers! A drill? Too big! Do you want to kill me!”

Alright, under the threat of her life, Harloys finally didn’t have the leisure to continue acting cute.

“I surrender, I surrender. I’ll tell you where you can look for godly weapons so please take away your drill!”

“Tsk!”

“What are you tsk-ing for! Are you that regretful? Do you really want to stab and drill around my body? You unfilial disciple!”

Alright, facing the complaining Harloys, I raised my drill and test tubes once more and she immediately turns obedient once more.

“There is really one nearby that you’re able to use. Do you know Pale Justice? The sacred sword that Legend Holy Knight Kane once used. He is an Aulander and his descendants should be in this city. I won’t elaborate more on it.”

Sacred sword huh? I was overjoyed, this is a reward beyond my expectations.

In the Eich Continent, sacred swords actually refers to swords that are divine and pure. However, if we return back to reality, there are often 2 types of sacred sword. The first type is the Sword of Protection that represents a certain area, country, race or family. Indubitably, the Roland Sacred Sword lies under this category. The second type refers to treasured sword which had a pure soul infused into it. Often, this is a right exclusive to Holy Knights.

In reality, the Order Gods opened a backdoor for their servants. When a Holy Knight dies with an unwillingness to stop in his pursuit to eliminate the Chaos Faction, he is able to infuse a portion of his strength and soul into a weapon for the usage of his descendants.

Just like that, a pure god sword/ sacred hammer is born. The restriction for usage normally only allows Holy Knight to wield them. At the same time, the sacred sword is extremely powerful against Chaos lifeforms.

Why do I say that this is the backdoor left behind by the Gods? That’s because other jobs have tried the same but never succeeded. Unless one turns into an Undead Spirit, otherwise the Order Gods and River Styx would never let a single soul of the dead go.

To be able to receive news on the sacred sword, naturally, I’m extremely happy. Thus, when Harloys heaves a sigh of relief, I raise up my drill once again.

“What do you intend to do! Didn’t I tell you the location of the sacred sword? You intend to go back on your decision! You untrustworthy conman!”

“Firstly, I didn’t promise you anything from the start. Helping you upgrade is one of my agendas of the day. Secondly, I just got addicted to reforming things and am unable to quench my passion. Finally, and more importantly, I’m a dual blade wielder, how can 1 sword be sufficient for me.”

The foolish cat immediately 囧 as she reflects on how she was caught so easily every time.

“Can it be true that one’s physical body will affect one’s intelligence?”

“No, didn’t I still manage to trick you in the past? Intelligence is something that you are born with, you should give in to your fate by now.”

“Don’t even think about it!”

From anger to sadness, from sadness to agitation, I never get bored of Harloys’ expressions when she falls into the pit I dug. Perhaps, this is the main reason why I like to trick her.

“This is my territory, no one can save you even when you scream out your throat. So, just give in!!”

“NO, take the white oily fluid away from me! You damned pervert, why are there tentacles. Could it be that the legendary Book of Erotic Fantasy is really with you? Save me, someone is torturing cats!”